You’re spending 15 minutes every morning to de-ice your car, you can’t leave the house unless you’re wearing at least three layers and your route to work has changed to dodge the hordes of Christmas shoppers braving the shops for a festive bargain. The holiday season has well and truly arrived, and sooner or later it will find its tinsel-loving way into the office.
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…”
While you’ve only just started planning your Christmas shop, there are those in the office who haven’t merely finished already, but actually bought, wrapped and gift-tagged all their presents a matter of months ago.
(Not so) Secret Santa
The annual drama of Secret Santa is commonplace in the Great British Workplace and it is a genuine lottery. That is, if everyone can keep their picks secret, which rarely, if ever, happens. Sooner or later, the jigsaw begins to piece itself together as the office Sherlocks deduce who’s got who. Surprise?
Christmas Jumper Day
Once upon a festive season, Christmas Jumper Day was an intense competition of who could find the most garish garment hidden away at the back of the stuffiest charity shop to wear with ironic pride. But now high street retailers have reduced the tacky holiday pullover to just another holiday cliche, all irony is gone and, sadly, Christmas Jumper Day is a victim of its own knitted success.
Mince Pie Guy
Usually known as the “Office Doughnut Guy”, the Mince Pie Guy puts a festive twist on proceedings by switching everyone’s favourite afternoon treat for a holiday-friendly mince pie. It’s a welcome change at first, by Christmas Eve nobody would blame you if (after your 20th pie of the season) the novelty has worn off and you never want to hear words like “Deep Fill” again. Just say no!
Oh Christmas Tree…
One of the most obvious signs that Christmas has landed in the workplace is the arrival of a tree. But nobody knows where it came from, or who put it up? Even the cleaners know nothing about it, apart from one morning it appeared, twinkling with fairy lights and fully decorated.
Or you tried to put one up yourselves, with disastrous consequences!
We all know that exciting feeling. First, you receive the email notification. Then, you gasp as you realise what it is; the menu for the work Christmas meal. The hardest part? Choosing what to eat as early as two weeks (or in some cases months) in advance.
We’ve all said it at one point or another, “no matter how many times I hear it [insert favourite Christmas song here] will never get old”. That is until you’ve heard it for the 7th time today… For the 7th day in a row. A word of warning: When you know The Pogue’s Fairytale of New York word for word, it’s time for a festive intervention.
The Office Christmas Party, glorified in workplace folklore and talked of throughout the year, can often fail to live up to the hype. But there’s no chance of the train running out of festive steam now as the office’s designated party planner suffers from ever-worsening delusions of holiday grandeur. Let’s just hope there’s
wine soft drinks. Lots and lots of soft drinks.
The Office Scrooge
Now while it’s perfectly natural to be cynical about the festive season, there are those who take an almost Scrooge-like joy in bemoaning holiday cheer. The Office Scrooge will usually appear around late November, cursing the arrival of the John Lewis advert and Christmas light switch-ons. From there they will eschew any festive celebration he/she can. Bah humbug!
The Holiday Postman
Every office has one diligent worker. Never late, never early, always leaves the staff room looking professionally cleaned at the end of every lunchtime. It is this individual who usually takes up the mantle of Holiday Postman, delivering Christmas cards to their colleague’s desks as if they were going out of fashion.
The Human Gift List
Can’t think of what to buy your close friends or relatives? Simply find and consult your office’s Human Gift List. Make no mistake, every workplace has one; whether they’ve revealed their present-buying wisdom to you is another matter entirely.
The Big Chill
After all the mad rush of the festive period, the time has come to truly relax and unwind as the last shift ends and your Secret Santa gifts are unwrapped as you celebrate another successful year with your colleagues. Even the Festive Scrooge is getting involved!